Your Agency Charges
£10,000/month.
Ralph Does More
in 67 Seconds.
Say the campaign out loud. Ralph builds the pricing strategy, generates imagery, writes the copy, schedules the emails, publishes the Shopify collection, updates SEO metadata — live in 67 seconds. Then it monitors 24/7, auto-reverts what underperforms, and briefs you every morning. No agencies. No briefs. No Slack threads.
An operator.
Ralph reads 21 live data sources every morning, spots the opportunities before you do, builds the campaign, publishes it to your live store, monitors it 24/7, fixes it when it underperforms, and tells you what happened. For less than a single day of agency fees per month.
One subscription.
Your entire eCommerce operation.
controlled
Say "Campaign These Products."
Watch Ralph Do Everything.
A full campaign — pricing strategy, AI imagery, copy, emails, blog, SEO metadata, Shopify collection, scheduling — in less time than it takes your agency to reply to a Slack message.
This is when you realise
you don't need an agency.
These aren't hypotheticals. They're the exact situations Ralph was built for.
Tell Ralph What You Need.
Watch It Think.
Type any campaign brief — or click a suggestion. See exactly how Ralph parses intent, loads data sources, and builds a result in seconds.
Campaigns Built on Real Data.
Not Demographics. Not Guesswork.
Ralph reads your complete order history, builds real audience segments from actual buyer behaviour, generates platform-native creatives, and launches simultaneously across Google and Meta — all from one sentence. Your own data. Your own audience. One click.
Orders
Analyses
Built
Google + Meta
Creatives for Every Platform.
Segment
1200×628
Enthusiasts
1080×1080
90d Buyers
1080×1920
Your Entire Store Optimised.
Ralph Knows Your Store
Better Than You Do.
Every morning, Ralph analyses overnight performance, flags problems before you notice them, and tells you exactly what to do — delivered as audio, ready when you wake up.
Ralph Groups Your Products
Into Revenue Clusters.
Deep product intelligence — lifecycle stage, price elasticity, cannibalization, entry and upsell paths, repeat rate, LTV impact, geo demand, return risk. Scored and grouped automatically, every night.
147 Jobs Run Every Night.
Zero Human Input Required.
147 jobs run every night — intelligence, webhooks, notifications, maintenance. All running in parallel, all visible in your dashboard in real time.
Your Agency Is Asleep.
Ralph Isn't.
Every night, while the industry sleeps, Ralph runs 147 background jobs across your store. Your morning briefing is compiled and ready before your alarm.
Ralph Is Running
Across Real Stores. Right Now.
This isn't a demo animation. Every event below represents the kind of decision Ralph makes — 24 hours a day, across every store it runs.
Just Say What You Want.
Ralph Does the Rest.
No dashboards to navigate. No forms to fill. Talk to Ralph like you'd talk to your best employee — except Ralph never sleeps and never needs re-briefing.
15 Tools. One Subscription.
Zero Juggling.
Your stack was expensive, fragmented, and none of it talked to each other. Ralph replaces all of it — connected, intelligent, and ready to act.
What Would You Save?
Drag the slider to your current monthly spend and see the numbers.
Your Agency vs Ralph.
The Numbers Don't Lie.
Your agency can't monitor 21 data sources in real time. Can't launch in 67 seconds. Can't auto-revert at 3am. And definitely can't do it for £249.
The gap between
your agency and Ralph.
These aren't projections. This is what Ralph does.
Less Than a Day of Agency Fees.
More Than They'll Do All Month.
No setup fees. No hidden costs. Cancel anytime. Founding members lock in 25% off — forever.
What Happens When You
Give Ralph the Keys.
Ralph is in private testing with founding members. Every quote is real. Every number is real.
Everything You Need to Know
Before You Cancel Your Agency.
Your agency just sent
a project update.
Ralph already launched it.
Ralph launches Q3 2026. The founders who get in first get 25% off at launch — permanently. Your spot is free to hold today.
No card. No commitment. Just your spot in line — and 25% off, locked forever.